Fashion Victim: The Things That Always Make Me Feel Silly

last updated 16 October 2018

You shouldn't ever call someone else a fashion victim, but you all have good manners, so I'm sure you wouldn't. We all have our own individual tastes and driving forces behind what we choose to wear, however, I can definitely understand the feeling of falling foul to the whims of fashion when it comes to my own choices. There are certain trends I've tried and regretted—trends I see myself wearing in old photographs and can't help but wince at. What was I possibly thinking?

One person's faux pas is another person's fashion glory, so where the archetypal fashion victims (Edina and Patsy) may have supposedly embarrassed themselves in front of their peers throughout season upon hilarious season of Absolutely Fabulous, there's no denying these two had a hoot while doing it. They both established their respective style DNAs (no matter how random the formulas may be), and if you look closely enough, you'll see some uncanny correlations between their ensembles then and what's in style now.

But I've taken a detour (because I recently fell into an archival Ab Fab hole) from telling you what is it that makes me feel like a fashion victim. Well, all of the below points are included on my personal shame list, yet all of them seem to be no match for celebrities. These famous ladies can wear sunglasses at night and no be laughed at or fall over a bollard. They can choose to wear the highest of heels because either their magical feet can carry them with ease, or their bodyguards can. Keep reading to see the fashion things that never fail to make me wish the ground would swallow me up.

1. Wearing Band Tees When I Don't Love (or Even Know) the Band

I'm not to pass judgement on whether Romee Strijd is a big Guns N' Roses fan, but we all know that wearing a band tee when you can't at least name an album is poor form. We've all done it too. During my teenage years, I tried so hard to make my love for crowd-dividing bands like Slipknot or Nine Inch Nails a reality, but no T-shirt could ever make me actually illegally download a song and listen to a full three minutes. Should you want to pass me a Spice Girls crew-neck now, I'd happily wear it in a heartbeat. That's who I am, and that's okay.

2. Thinking I Have to Wear New and/or Expensive Pieces to Look Good

Even royalty knows that rewearing clothes and hitting up the high street for a gem or two can really pay off. I'm sure that feeling of needing to spend, spend, spend is as prevalent in other circles as it is in fashion ones. In the future, before you buy something for the sake of buying it, just think, What would Markle do?

3. Anything Nude, Sheer or Revealing

Bella Hadid can get away with basically dressing as a fembot in a sheer nude bodystocking, but if I put on a relatively low-cut top, I feel too panicked to be out in public.

4. Buying Something Because Everyone Else Has It

We've all been lured in like this before, right? It's easy to get carried away with "must-haves," but I have a rule that helps keep things calm: If it's still just as alluring a couple of months' time, buy it. For example, right now, Kendall Jenner and a host of street style stars are wearing Prada's utility vest bags, but I can see the trend spiralling quickly. (Also, I'm pretty sure my boobs wouldn't thank me for getting involved.)

5. Wearing Sunglasses at Night

Madonna can wear anything—she's Madonna! But seriously, if I wore sunnies in the dark, I'd either fall over or be labelled a numpty forever more. It's a bit try-hard when you're not a celeb, but whatever floats your party boat…

6. Choosing Heels That Are Too High for Actual Walking

Super stilettos might be ideal for Cardi B (she does have two bodyguards, after all), but they're not so ideal for me on a wet day pounding the pavements of London. I decided long ago, after injuring my foot in a pair, that the ultra-glam, high-sandals route was not for me.

7. Adopting a Trendy Look That Isn't My Vibe

Kim Kardashian West and her daughter North are certainly not scared of tackling the latest trends head-on, no matter how mad it might seem. I, on the other hand, feel like I'll come down with a rash should I step close enough to athleisure—or neon, for that matter. Neon athleisure would probably be the end of me.

It's good to experiment with your personal style (especially when you're not quite sure what it is yet), but never wear clothes that aren't "you." I always feel at my most comfortable wearing the tried-and-tested looks that have remained in my wardrobe for over a decade.

Next up, the nicest new-in pieces to shop this week.

Explore More:

Hannah Almassi is the Editor in Chief of Who What Wear UK. Hannah has been part of the the Who What Wear brand since 2015, when she was headhunted to launch the UK sister site and social channels, implement a localised content strategy and build out the editorial team. She joined following a seven-year tenure at Grazia magazine, where she led front-of-book news, fashion features and shopping specials as fashion news and features editor. With experience in both print and digital across fashion and beauty, Hannah has over 16 years in the field as a journalist, editor, content strategist and brand consultant. Hannah has interviewed industry heavyweights such as designers including Marc Jacobs and Jonathan Anderson through to arbiters of taste including Katie Grand and Anna Dello Russo. A skilled moderator and lecturer specialising in the shift to digital media and e-commerce, Hannah’s opinion and work has been sought by the likes of CNBC, BBC, The Sunday Times Style, The Times, The Telegraph and MatchesFashion.com, among many others. Hannah is often called upon for her take on trends, becoming known as a person with their finger of the pulse of what’s happening in the fashion space for stylish Brits. Hannah currently resides in Eastbourne with her photographer husband, incredibly busy son and highly Instagrammable cat.